


Somewhere Only We Know

by pucketttmadej



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: HIGHKEY ANGST, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Change, Songfic, Syd out, i have a shyan playlist and-, idiots to lovers, ily all, im so sorry for this, mention of being suicidal so, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23188450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pucketttmadej/pseuds/pucketttmadej
Summary: Where Ryan and Shane get together but Ryan doesn’t get the message that Shane needs to take it slowTw//anxiety, suicidal mentions
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Somewhere Only We Know

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I wrote this a long time ago but I never finished it so here you go  
> Shoutout to my girlfriend, Ana I love you   
> My Twitter: @amiabletk  
> (Ana’s Twitter is @unsoIvednetwork go follow them)  
> My Instagram: @syddaga

I liked my best friend and co-host, Ryan, he was absolutely perfect, but also my best friend. This secret would go down with me to the grave. I was broken away from my thoughts by the vibrating of my phone in my back pocket. Of course, I check to see who it was and my heart immediately skipped a beat.

Ryan 

I slide the little button to answer the call   
“Hey! Wha-what’s going on? Everything goin alright?” I was nervous, I mean, it was 11:11 PM.  
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I have insomnia so I went for a drive, not for Ryan to know but yeah.  
“Yeah! Of course everything’s alright!” Then there was a long pause. 

☾oh simple thing  
Where have you gone?  
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in  
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin  
And if you have a minute   
Why don’t we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know ☽

“Hey, could you, maybe, meet me? I-um-we need to talk.” Ryan says, pulling me out of my thoughts for the second time this evening.  
“Uh, yeah, anything for you, Ry. Where do you wanna meet? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”  
‘Anything for you, Ry’? That sounds so desperate. Ugh. Moving on.  
“Um I don’t know, uh, BuzzFeed studios I guess?” Ryan says uncertain, he says it more like a question than a statement.  
“Dude you know they have big-ass gates and no one gets in this late at night.” I say.  
“Oh yeah, shit, you’re right, ok…” There was that long pause again, like he’s debating on something. He says it before he could decide against it. “Ok um, is my place good?”   
“Of course it is! It always is.”   
I hang up the phone and place it in my cup holder, then I proceed to quickly turn my car, my Prius, around and head straight for Ryan’s apartment, trying to keep my cool, he needed me right now, so I’ll be there for him, the right way.   
Thoughts race in my mind as I try to comprehend what Ryan has to talk to me about.  
As I arrive at his apartment building, all his neighbors seemed to be home, I grew more nervous as I turn the car off, exit it and then head up to Ryan’s apartment.  
Knock. Pause. Knock. Knock.  
About five seconds after I signal that I have arrived, Ryan opens the door, he looks slightly panicked.  
“You ok?” I decided to ask.  
“Yeah, yeah. Perfect, actually, come on in.” He steps out of the doorway to let me enter the residence.  
“I actually wanted to talk to you...about…” He takes a deep, long, breath, and seems to bail on his first thought. “About the next episode of Unsolved.” He (obviously) lies.  
I scoff a little at his obvious lie. “At midnight? On a Friday night?” I question him.   
He looks at me weirdly at first then loses the weird look and just sighs.   
“Ok fine, I actually wanted to talk to you about something a little bit more...personal.”   
I hum. “ok, go ahead.”  
There come the fidgets! He always gets fidgety when he’s nervous. This must be really serious. Ok, Shane, prepare yourself. And don’t scream.  
“O- ok so Shane, there’s something I feel like I need to tell you.”  
“Dude, you know you can tell me just about anything.” I sigh then add “no scratch that, you can tell me absolutely anything, ok?”   
And then the moment I was waiting for for months, maybe even a year, finally arrived.  
“Shane, I’m gay.” Ryan tells me without looking up from the ground.  
“Is that what you got so worked up about, Ry?” I asked, even though I know.  
“I...I feel...weird, maybe...different.” Ryan continues to tell me, with tears brimming his eyes.  
“Ry..” I pause, I debate on taking the chance, fuck it, I’m doing it. I take his hand and add “You’re weird, you always have been, but there’s no way in hell you’re any different.” I assure him. And he acknowledges it and smiles, but that smile fades as quickly as it appeared.  
“There’s more…..”  
I nod for him to go on.  
“When you were with that girl, Sara, a long time ago, that, it made me feel something, anger…” He pauses as if I’m gonna break as soon as he says what he’s gonna say next. “Jealousy…” He finally says. To add to that statement he asks “Shane, would it be bat-shit crazy to tell you that I’m in love with you?”  
He looks up at me with worried eyes, with a sliver of hope in them.  
“No.” I simply say.  
That causes cute as a button Ryan to give me a confused look. He’s begging me to explain with his eyes.  
“That’s not bat-shit crazy, Ryan, do you wanna know why?” I say in more of a commanding voice.  
“Why?” He says, lightening up a bit.  
“Because maybe in some universe, in some world, I’m in love with you too.” I say.  
“I hope you mean this world.” Ryan says.  
“I do.” I smile and Ryan smiles back.  
“Cool.”  
“Yeah, cool.”  
After about a minute I decide to lighten the mood.  
“So do we uh, kiss now or what?” I ask.  
Ryan bursts out laughing, he’s so happy, I’m so happy, this feels good, it feels good like right. I love him and he loves me. Finally.  
“Yeah I guess we kiss now.” Ryan confirms how he feels and for the first time in forever, I smile wide. I’m so happy, I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.  
“Ok!” I say before closing the tiny gap between us and it felt like every piece of the puzzle fit exactly into its place.

<3

It’s been a little over three months that Shane and I have been dating and it’s been great, except for the part where Shane has been treating me like porcelain, like I’m gonna break, and for the first two weeks, yeah, sure, that’s understandable, but this, this has not stopped. It’s finally time to ask him what this is all about.  
“Shane! Babe?” I yell as a place my keys.  
I can’t do this anymore, I need someone who will love me with no limits, I think, I think I need to break up with Shane. Oh god, how even am I going to do this? He’s gonna be heartbroken.   
“Hey! Nice to see you, love!” Shane says excitedly.  
“Why are we doing this?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean I’m not sure this is working..”   
“Oh….”  
“Maybe we weren’t meant to be.” I say, as much as it broke my heart, it was true.  
“We are. Why are you thinking this?”  
Shane moved towards the couch, the spot where they first confessed their feelings.

☾this could be the end of everything   
So why don’t we go   
Somewhere only we know☽

“Because it feels like you’re afraid to love me….”  
“Ry…..”  
Shane starts fidgeting with everything, tapping the coffee table, I can tell he’s about to cry.  
“Ryan, Unsolved saved my life….you...you saved my life, before I met you I was suicidal, I wanted to end my life and when you walked up and started talking about your day and smiled that smile, smiled your smile. I was smiling more, and then when you asked me to do Unsolved, I took that as a sign, that I belonged in this world, in your world and that’s the day you saved me and I fell in love with you.”   
Ryan looks at Shane, completely in shock. Shane...was...suicidal…….and Ryan Steven Bergara saved him.  
“Sh-“  
“And now you don’t love me anymore! I ruined everything, this is my fault, it all is”  
This is when Shane sobbed into the couch and this is when Ryan grabbed the nearest limb and pulled Shane close into his chest.  
“I never said I didn’t love you anymore.”   
It was true, Ryan was head over heels in love with this man and nothing would ever change that. Shane was his everything and he was staying that way.  
“Y-you...you still love me?” Shane’s small voice rang through Ryan’s body.  
“Yup.” Ryan ran his hand through Shane’s hair, still consoling before he tilted the taller man’s head up and before Ryan leaned in and kissed him. It was a short kiss but it said everything Ryan couldn’t. “Forever and always, I’m right here, with you.”  
“Please don’t ever leave me, or even talk about it.” Shane says before burying his face in Ryan’s chest again.  
“I’m not planning on it, big guy.” Ryan says softly.  
“And we can take it as slow as you need.”


End file.
